idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
