A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
