but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
