Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Farmville is her only friend.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
