Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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