when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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