and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
