Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
