cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
