Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
