Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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