The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
