ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
