my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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