were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
