Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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