are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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