All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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