What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
