and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
