Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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