yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
