just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
