Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
