So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
