He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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