I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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