carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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