please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
