I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
