we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
