great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
