After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
