Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My pussy is not your playground.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
