Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
