think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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