just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
