dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My pussy is not your playground.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
