good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
