if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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