Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
