wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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