She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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