I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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