I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
