Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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