exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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