idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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