Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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