i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
