it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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