We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
