Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
